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Aimee on surfers wave Gauley River
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Regan getting his boof on at Sock em dog at the Chattooga River
Kayaking with your significant other can hold many challenges. You often hear about the boyfriend trying to get his girlfriend into kayaking or vise versa. Whether you are just learning or just met someone who kayaks too, you may find some of this information helpful. Let’s face it – white water kayaking is a solo sport as much as it is a team one, so when you add someone you love into the mix you can easily have a disaster!
I will start by using my own examples. My husband and I meet on the river kayaking. He had been kayaking for about a year before we meet, whereas I was brand new to the sport (just a few months into it) and had lots to learn. As he took me under his wing, he recognized my fearless potential and yet recognized my weak areas (fearlessness can be common with new boaters, hence a source of general trouble). We boated together all the time, and I was growing frustrated with his attempts to over-teach (too much information at once) or him yelling at me in the middle of my committed moves. Needless to say there were many arguments on the river between us in the beginning!
I guess this can part of my shameless plug here to get away from your significant others side to take clinics from properly trained people to alleviate such frustrations. Ladies of the Saluda has lots to offer! If you are new and can’t keep your kayak in a straight line or you are swimming a lot and your boyfriend or girlfriend is telling you a million things to do, it can get overwhelming and may even make you not want to kayak. Supportive environments with the right people (other than your better half) will build a solid foundation for you to feel more comfortable in general but also can make you more confident again avoiding frustration with your loved one. However, I certainly don’t want to underestimate those that have a successful kayaking career with their partners but the reality is even at best it takes time getting there.
There are many topics that this article could cover so I will try to stay focused on what you can do as the teacher or student when you are in white water. If you are the laid back kayaker who just wants to share the nice weather once in a while and enjoy nature, you may not have much of an issue at all, so get out and enjoy! I’m talking more about couples that advance at the same time together or one of the two is learning to advances as the other is “concerned or protective”. We all know about the dangers and challenges white water can bring. Adding someone you love to the picture can be very scary. Regan would yell at me at the last second in a move I was making (have no idea what he was trying to say because I was focused) to make a different move. This was a huge source of frustration for me as I was already committed to making a move because I trusted my judgment and skills. I was getting to the level that I could read and run and make my own calls but he legitimately was scared for me. I can appreciate it now as an instructor and mom but my point is letting go…..the first step in successful couple kayaking!
I’m not talking about running the nar… heck this can be the Natty. My point is that once a solid understanding and foundation is formed, it’s time to let the birdie fly! As the student or teacher, you will reach a point where you have to let people make their own decisions. It’s hard to watch your loved one fail or make a bad move but at this point they should have some instruction under their belt and be capable of making a move and if not….Second rule…ASK! Try not to get too cocky early in the growing days as you gain confidence. You need to be able to feel confident with moves but also feel comfortable enough to check every now and then to keep communication open. I can remember being on the Chattooga many times in my earlier days, not really sure where I was going but I could make one move to the next. I may not have picked the “ideal line” but I would get in an eddy, look downstream for the next move or two if I could see it and make a decision from there. It’s hard to watch someone you have protected and taught to let go and learn. I was comfortable being in front (on the easy stuff at first) to learn how to read water and trust in myself and skills. If I’d get in an eddy and had no idea what the next move was I’d ask or wait for direction. I have seen boaters reach a certain level and think they never need help again. Wrong! At some point you will always need someone’s piece of advice so learn how and when to look for it especially from your partner.
Keeping an open mind, compromising in the beginning to prevent arguments, and having good communication on the water is essential. For myself I need very specific short directions that are to the point, not a loooong dragged out version feeling like I’m reading a section out of one of Nealy’s books! As the new boater in the couple, it is good to recognize how you’d like to receive direction and constructive criticism. Being honest and direct about your goals for either the day or a skill set will prepare you to be in an open minded environment and not an argumentative one because your husband just led you through the meat of a rapid!
Overall there are many scenarios/psychological differences as a couple you may face in kayaking together but if you keep these few things in mind it will help you become successful and enjoy your water time with your loved one. I personally suggest if you are brand new to kayaking find proper instruction even if it’s only a clinic or two to really see what you are getting into.
These days Regan and I can be found anywhere from our local Saluda River to the Tallulah, Cheoah, NFFB, you name it as long as we are on the water. We enjoy our kayaking time together from running consequential rapids to just canoeing and fishing with our son on the Saluda but we both have a solid understanding of each others skills, judgment and capabilities. Good instruction, letting go, communication and knowing when to ask for help are key to having a successful day on the water together!
We’d love to hear your stories of learning stages in kayaking with your partner. Send your comments to us so we can post them!
Most importantly have fun! Happy Paddling!
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